Subway … eat awkward

I just got back from my local subway, which has been hilariously shitty the last few visits.  Usually they have one of their 2 hard working employees working alone, frantically trying to keep up with the volume of customers poring through there, which led to 20 minute wait times the last few times I have been there. The last time I was there this poor guy was making subs for 6 customers/groups of customers at a time before ringing them all up at once. I suppose management finally decided to hire some new help, which oddly enough, might make me less likely to visit. Today, I walked in to loud, over-the-top, country music blasting throughout the store. A tall, 17 year old kid was working there, along with this obnoxiously outgoing girl that I have seen before. When I walked in a customer was patiently waiting to give his order while she chastised the young kid publicly while trying to train him to operate the register. After a couple of minutes that ended and the kid made his way over to the customer in front of me and proceeded to take about 2-3 minutes to try to figure out what went on his sandwiches. Eventually, obnoxious girl swoops in to help him (after the customer told him which chicken to put on his sub), all-the-while rolling her eyes and looking at the customers. She began singing some pop song (“don’t throw this away” was the lyrics she kept repeating), with an annoying, almost comical falsetto. Her singing was about as good as mine and yet here she was subjecting the customers and her poor coworker to it (over the top of the country music which was still blasting), while trying to help him out. By that point, I wanted to be anywhere but in that Subway. Things can get worse though. A guy comes in behind me, and of course he is an extrovert, a nice man, but an extrovert none-the-less, which means that obnoxious singing Subway Goddess now has more of an audience.  She proceeds to ask the customer in front of me how long he thought the young kid had worked there, to which he replied, kind of annoyed, “I don’t know is today his first day?”. Obnoxious Subway Goddess smirks and answers that this is his 5th day, which is why she, being the local Subway Goddess, had to give him a good talking to today. She told the customer that he was a little quicker the last couple of times but was having problems today, and that if she had to talk to him again it would be a bad thing for him. All of this actually was addressed to the customer in front of me, which is kind of awkward/hilarious/shitty. The nice, older extrovert behind me swooped in to make the young kid feel a little better, and loudly announced that the kid, who was actually quite built and tall and who could have passed for a college kid, had a wild night last night and that today he was just feeling it. Subway Goddess announced that he better of not had a wild night because he is 17. The extrovert customer said “oh, like you never had a wild night when you were 17”. The Subway Goddess then upped her “my-farts-smell-like-roses” game with a “I am 22 and never had a sip of alcohol … blah blah”. She then apologized personally to me for the kids lack of speed, and I spent the entire drive home wondering why I did not tell her that the reason I might not come back is her singing and and propensity to publicly berate her coworker. I seriously cannot remember a more awkward fast food run and I am hard pressed to come up with a reasonable scenario that would have made this trip more cringe-worthy … perhaps if Jared himself walked in wearing a prison jumpsuit and began suggesting subs.

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